Today she sent me this gem. I'm still laughing out loud every time I read it. It was an excerpt from an actual chili recipe on Pinterest:
- Now, bring the chili up to a steady simmer, lower the heat, clamp on a lid, and walk away for a while. An hour, maybe? Hour and a half? Fuck, what am I, made of clocks? I don't know. A while. You want the meat to tenderize and the flavors to meld for a while, and you want them to do that more quickly than the liquid evaporates, for now.
- After the unit of time we're calling something between an hour and 90 minutes but really represents a good-faith effort to leave your chili alone to simmer under a cover for a while, you may return, remove the lid, and add beans. Two cans of dark red kidney beans, right in the face, you anti-bean psychos. Liquid and all.
"Fuck, what am I, made of clocks?" is going to be new response to my preschool children every time they say "is it time to do.....now?" In fact, I think I will be using that phrase a lot. period. If anyone knows the above recipe author, please share with them my love of their comedic genius.